if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
