I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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