he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
