how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
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