i was rollin on her like bob the builder
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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