Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
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