I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
