Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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