butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
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