I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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