Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Randomize
