It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
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