No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
