what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
