PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
