No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Randomize
