yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
