went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
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