You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
