you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Randomize
