Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
