I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
