TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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