Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Randomize
