how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
