It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
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