i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize