im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
