Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
