I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Randomize