Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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