No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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