You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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