You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I'm at about main and main street
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
