I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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