What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Randomize
