I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
foreskin is a definite game changer
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
