i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
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