Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I smell like Dick and happiness
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