yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Randomize
