Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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