Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
