just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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