at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
This gyro tastes like lonliness
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
