she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize