Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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