hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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