i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Randomize
