I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
