My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Randomize
