How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
