Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Randomize
