Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Randomize
