I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
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