He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Randomize
