At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
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