what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Randomize
