do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
