she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Randomize
