We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Randomize
